SLOWJAMASTAN COVID 19 TRACKER – ACTIVE COVID 19 CASES: 0 TOTAL COVID CASES: 0 TOTAL COVID DEATHS: 0
We believe in freedom for all citizens of Slowjamastan. You want pancakes for dinner? Do it. Fancy a pet aardvark? Do that, too. There’s not much you can’t do in Slowjamastan, however, please refer to our national laws and regulations.
Slowjamastanians are bound by honor. Our word is bond. Valour, chivalry, honesty, and compassion are all important values to us. We do the right thing, follow the golden rule, and don’t use speakerphone in public.
We respect the land, the animals, our leader, each other. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Slowjamastan. A little respect. (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me.) R-E-S-P-E-C-T. A little respect.
Director of Land Management
Slowjamastan Security Forces
95 Political appointee
Now, will be able to have a piece of Slowjamastan for yourself.
We’re currently offering, citizenship, passports and soon. even diplomatic and political appointments for qualified applicants.
If you promise never to wear Crocs inside The Republic, listen to mumble rap, or drive in the passing lane while not passing – you’re our kinda citizen. Git’cher butt down here!