BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER
SEPTEMBER 10, 2021
Coat of arms or coat of charms??? That’s the question the world is asking after setting eyes on the newly-unveiled Slowjamastan coat of arms.
Wednesday afternoon, The Sultan released the final version of the new country’s national crest. The world is celebrating.
Let’s pick apart this brilliant work of art…
Designed by Abdullah Asif, one of the world’s most sought-after designers and artists, the Slowjamastan coat of arms incorporates the nation’s most valuable assets. Clockwise, from top left: Music, the desert flora of our landscape, followed by the sand dunes of Slowjamastan and we finish strong with the powerful and potent Slowjamastan sun. Some art experts believe the sand dunes quarter may also signify and pay respect to the nearby Salton Sea, located just 14 miles east, in United States territory. All of these special commodities incorporated into the crest are protected by our national animal, the raccoon.
The Sultan said, “Behold! Here is our coat of arms. Enjoy it! Treasure it! Love it! We will soon be making available jerseys, t-shirts, iron-on patches and trucker hats with our fine crest. Long live Slowjamastan!”
What is your GDP? If it’s low I can help with that.
We will soon export sand, wind, sun and Slow Jams!