BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM l STAFF WRITER
JANUARY 4, 2022
Meet The Sultan – Sunday, February 6th
Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: The people cried out with joy today, after The Slowjamastan Ministry of Communications released the news that The Sultan will be appearing for a special meet and greet with the people this February.
Deacon Yurmowf exclaimed, “I couldn’t believe it! It’s actually happening! My life will soon be complete!”
The first ever “Meet the Sultan” public event will happen in Slowjamastan on Sunday, February 6th at 2:00PM Slowjamastan Standard Time. The special ceremony will be open to only the first 50,000 people to arrive. Citizenship or visa is not required for this special meet and greet, however a special “code word” will be required to enter the country. The code word is: “Slowjamastan Banana Stand.” Failure to answer with the correct secret code word will result in denial of admittance by Slowjamastan Border and Protections.
Also appearing, Chief Border Patrol Agent, Mark Corona; Special Forces Commander Matthew Conde; and Director of The Bureau of Land Managment, Joe Lindsay.
The Sultan would like to send a special invitation out to our neighbors in Borrego Springs, Ocotillo Wells, and other communities throughout Imperial and San Diego Counties, United States of America.
Covid 19 Protocol: While masks, tests nor vaccine cards are required, the Slowjamastan Ministry of Heath does require you drink a full glass of orange juice on the morning of February 6th. Sunny D is acceptable, as are mimosas.
Please RSVP below.