BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER
May 20th, 2023
Dublândia, Slowjamastan: Under 10,000 Slowjamastani citizens, neighbors, allies and onlookers flocked to The Republic to witness a Slowjamastan first, as the young but mighty nation welcomed its very first diplomatic visit from a sitting President. Meet The Republic of Molossia’s President Kevin Baugh and First Lady Adrianne Baugh. They were received by Governor and Governess of DonSamWadi, Donald Caliva and Samantha Speckmeyer and cheered on by an enthusiastic crowd of Slowjamafans, some who’d camped out for under three days for a chance to get a glimpse at Molossian royalty. During the ceremonies, the Molossian flag was raised, special hors d’oeuvres were on hand, and The President and First Lady received the very first “Key to Slowjamastan.” Now, if The Sultan’s ever locked out, he can phone Molossia for help.
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Special thanks to C.J. Stewart and Eric Hanscom for contributing to this story.
Enjoy these documentaries on the historic event, produced by Slowjamastan’s very own loyal citizens!
Wanted to find specific location of Slowjamastan, but found zip indication of latitude, longitude, or attitude in the Sovereign Nation’s webslight. (NB: Is it mandatory to use “these HTML tags and attributes” as shown below?)
Strongly recommend Sultan purchase 1,876 copies of “The Conquest of Bread” by anarchist Pyotr Alexeyevich Kropotkin for Dublândia Public (Pubic?) Library System. Comrade Kropotkin, a sage before his time, was often heard to exclaim, “We need to hit the Welfare Office, man. We need heavy bread, man.” To which his Personal Assistant responded, “The Helms Bakery’s closed, man.”
I use crocs all the time, as in, “That’s a croc, man. Total croc! Disco didn’t damage their brains, they were already brain damaged and that’s why they became Disco freaks.”
Also, the claim that Johann Sebastian Bach invented Bach Beer is a complete croc, man. It was Glenn Gould (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Gould) who came up with Bach Beer, served in a wide-bottom tankard so it wouldn’t slid off the piano.
The video at the top of this webpage has a spelling mistake in your micro-nation’s name; it says “Slowjamasan” instead of Slowjamastan. I suggest one of your early official acts of parliament should be the creation of a Ministry of Editing long before you role out your official Constitution.
The deplorable and now enemy of the state who allowed this egregious error to pass has now been tarred, feathered, beaten and exiled. Thank you for your vigilance, Walter!