Official language of Slowjamastan: English with GFA (General Foreign Accent).

Our nation’s official language is English with GFA (General Foreign Accent.) So what does this mean exactly? It’s simple.

English with GFA is exactly what it sounds like. English…spoken with a General Foreign Accent. So what’s a general foreign accent? Again, exactly what it sounds like. Read on my friends.

GFA does not mean a Spanish accent, a Russian accent, nor an Indian accent for that matter. British? Don’t even think about it. A “general” foreign accent is absolutely a noticeable accent, but not from anywhere specifically identifiable. It can be sound like Borat, Cheech and Chong and Panjabi all rolled into one.

It is important that when you speak the official language of Slowjamastan, you do not lean too close to any particular accent. This may offend those from the nation whose accent you are using. Therefore, you should do you best not to try and sound like an Italian, a Persian or a Ugandan, etc. Always remember, it’s a “general” foreign accent. This all-inclusive accent doesn’t leave anyone out – it just assures others that you are not American. You are Slowjamastanian!

Now that you understand the reasoning, history and most importantly the “sound” of GFA, it is important that inside Slowjamastan—or while speaking about Slowjamastan—you speak with GFA. By now you should even be “reading” this text in your head with GFA. Go ahead and try it, you’ll like it!

Our other recognized languages include Portuguese and Spanish. Why? Because the Sultan speaks those two languages. Don’t ask anymore questions. (This sentence just sounds better in GFA, now doesn’t it? Yes, of course it does!)