Black Friday Sale EXTENDED Through Monday

We’ve never, ever had a “sale.” But here’s the deal…our nation is teetering on the brink of financial collapse and we need capital. So YOU win!

Take advantage of these never before offered deals that will be GONE faster than The Sultan can throw a Croc-wearing, string cheese-chomping, mumble rap-listening infidel across the border and back into America. Shop quick and hard. And ¡VIVA SLOWJAMASTAN!

$10 Passports. This is nuts. Really nuts. We’ll probably regret this. ORDER HERE.

Sultan says: “Nothing says ‘I’m a complete bad-ass’ more than a second nationality and a passport to prove it.”

BOTH collector coins for $35. Embarrassing we’re doing this, but we are. ORDER HERE.

Sultan says: “Get one for yourself and one as a gift for someone you love. Peak radness here.”

These have JUST been added: Desk flags PLUS stands. Three for $20. WOW! ORDER HERE. before The Sultan changes his mind.

Sultan says: “The most inexpensive way to show your loyalty. Every Slowjamastani needs a flag. Or three.”

DUBLES, DUBLES EVERYWHERE! 2 for $20. We think this may even be a typo. Grab these before we fix it. ORDER HERE.

Sultan says: “This is actually a great investment. The dollar is in trouble. The Duble is as strong as The Sultan’s accent!”

Own an actual piece of Slowjamastan! We’ll engrave a brick with YOUR name and message and it will live in Slowjamastan FOREVER. Our Cyber Monday Special includes an astounding 2-4-1 deal on this epic score. Makes the PERFECT gift…so unique! ORDER HERE.

Sultan says: “This is your legacy. You should buy ten of these, really.”