Phoenix, AZ – A new global superpower has entered the tourism arena. The Republic of Slowjamastan made its world-famous debut at the equally world-famous Travel and Adventure Show last weekend at the Phoenix Convention Center. While some nations rely on picturesque beaches, ancient ruins, or bustling metropolises to entice visitors, Slowjamastan has a different approach: an 11-acre desert plot, a dictator in a flashy uniform, and an iron-fisted ban on Crocs.

Slowjamastan’s Supreme Leader, His Excellency Sultan Randy “R Dub!” Williams, along with Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona, mingled with thousands of travel enthusiasts, showcasing the wonders of their fledgling nation. Among the highlights: diplomatic meet-and-greets, free citizenship applications, and complimentary samples of Slowjamastan’s national fruit—the Maraschino Cherry (which is not grown in Slowjamastan due to its notoriously infertile soil).

“We had 17 visitors in 2024, which, let’s be honest, is a pretty exclusive number,” said The Sultan. “We’re basically the Monaco of the desert—without the casinos, yachts, or economy.”

The Sultan has ambitious goals for 2025, hoping to at least double, if not triple, last year’s tourist count.

Potential citizens, curious travelers, and deeply confused passersby stopped by Slowjamastan’s booth, each with their own burning questions.

“I just came here to learn about all-inclusive resorts in Cancun, and suddenly I’m pledging allegiance to a guy in aviators handing out cherries,” said bewildered travel enthusiast Karen Birkman. “Is this a prank? Are they legally allowed to do this?”

But while some remained skeptical, others were fully on board with the Slowjamastani dream. The Sultan spent the weekend granting honorary citizenships to eager recruits, reminding them of the nation’s most important laws—most notably, the strict prohibition of Crocs within the republic’s borders.

“Let’s be clear—Slowjamastan is not some lawless free-for-all,” The Sultan declared. “We have rules. Structure. Order. And most importantly, a zero-tolerance policy for hideous foam footwear.”

The Travel and Adventure Show also featured renowned travel experts like YouTube sensation Drew Binsky and CBS News’ Peter Greenberg, though it remains unclear if either has officially recognized Slowjamastan as a sovereign entity.

For those who missed Slowjamastan’s grand debut, fear not! The Sultan and his entourage will continue their diplomatic tour next weekend at the Los Angeles Travel and Adventure Show, where more visitors will have the chance to experience the mystique, majesty, and mild confusion of Slowjamastan.

Would-be citizens are advised to arrive early, as passports, currency, and cherries are available only while supplies last.

Obey The Sultan—save your Dubles. Use his supreme discount link HERE.

Long live Slowjamastan!