Comrades! The Motherland is giving away more official Slowjamastan passports! Here is how you may attempt to become one of the fortunate: 1. Watch “Greetings from Slowjamastan” — Episode 7 below. And yes, comrades, watch the whole video.
Author: Slowjamastan State Department
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 25, 2026 DUBLÂNDIA, SLOWJAMASTAN — The Sultan of Slowjamastan has announced sweeping new restrictions on press access, banning journalists who own, wear, or have ever publicly defended Crocs. “Freedom of
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 17, 2026 DUBLÂNDIA, SLOWJAMASTAN — Concern is growing inside the Republic of Slowjamastan after The Sultan reportedly became increasingly uneasy over a series of recent international developments involving the United States
Comrades! The Motherland is giving away official Slowjamastan passports! Here is how you may attempt to become one of the fortunate: 1. Watch “Greetings from Slowjamastan” — Episode Three below. And yes, comrades, watch the whole video. The
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 30, 2026 ESCONDIDO, CA — The red carpet was nowhere to be found. There were no paparazzi, no velvet ropes, and absolutely nobody mistook Escondido for Hollywood. And yet, history
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 30, 2026 SULTAN SEA — In a historic act of leadership, geography and extremely confident map editing, The Sultan of Slowjamastan has officially renamed the Salton Sea the “Sultan Sea.”
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 23, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — Tensions escalated at the border of the Republic of Slowjamastan when County Inspector Gary Bower allegedly entered sovereign Slowjamastani territory without diplomatic clearance, proceeded to conduct
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 14th, 2026 PARIS — A recent traveler proudly shared photos of their Republic of Slowjamastan passport receiving an official entry stamp at Paris-Orly Airport in France. Almost immediately, a familiar
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 21, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — Federal prosecutors in The Republic of Slowjamastan announced today that they have formally indicted Andrew Rees, CEO of Crocs, on charges including Crimes Against Fashion,
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — In a moment of quiet triumph disguised as chaos, the Ministry of Identification and Mild Confusion confirms what loyal viewers of Fridays with Frank already suspected:
Despite Chaotic Start, Officials Urge Public to Watch Replay BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — The Republic of Slowjamastan marked a milestone this week with its first-ever YouTube LIVE broadcast, featuring
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — In moment of excessive vigilance and slightly elevated blood pressure, Glorious Leader The Sultan regretfully acknowledges premature accusation of treason against loyal citizens of The Republic