BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 18th, 2025 The Republic of Slowjamastan – In what experts are calling “the greatest migration in modern history,” massive caravans of Americans are heading toward the border of The Glorious
Category: News
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 4th, 2025 The Republic of Slowjamastan – In a bold move to protect his nation’s dignity, The Sultan of Slowjamastan has announced a 6,000,000% tariff on all imports of Crocs,
Young Scholar Denied A+ for Recognizing the Greatest Nation on Earth—The Sultan Intervenes BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 26, 2025 Puebla, México – The Sultan, Supreme Leader and Benevolent Overlord of Slowjamastan, receives thousands of
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 17, 2025 Phoenix, AZ – A new global superpower has entered the tourism arena. The Republic of Slowjamastan made its world-famous debut at the equally world-famous Travel and Adventure Show
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 12, 2025 Imperial County, CA – In a shocking display of cartographic audacity, maps now reflect the Salton Sea as the “Sultan” Sea, honoring the Supreme Leader of Slowjamastan.
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25rd, 2025 Los Angeles – If a front-row seat at the NATO Summit didn’t convince the world that Slowjamastan is a geopolitical powerhouse, fear not—we’re doubling down. This year, our
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25th, 2025 Dublândia – Slowjamastan’s charismatic and unapologetically bold leader, The Sultan , has sent shockwaves across the geopolitical landscape with a declaration: he’s “thinking very strongly” about annexing Yuma,
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 23rd, 2025 Dublândia – After four grueling days of intense labor, sweat, and what we can only assume was a lot of Monster Energy drinks, the Republic of Slowjamastan is proud to announce
BY THE SULTAN l SUPREME LEADER January 12th, 2025 My Word is Bond I promised I’d keep you updated on the awful burglary and vandalism that happened to us in December, so I’m here with an update. I
Slowjamastan Establishes “December 14th Commission” – A Nation Demands Answers BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 11th, 2025 Dublândia : – In a move of historic significance, His Excellency, The Sultan of Slowjamastan, has formed the
Suspects have been identified and located. We are currently working with authorities. Please GO HERE for the latest updates. Parents, you have the power to create outstanding, kind citizens out of your children. You also have equal
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 21st , 2024 Dublândia — In a dramatic move that sent shockwaves through the fast food and footwear industries, The Republic of Slowjamastan announced today that it will impose immediate sanctions