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The Republic of Slowjamastan

The Republic of Slowjamastan

The United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan

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Category: News

News Alert: Unauthorized Nude Photo Shoot Stuns Sultan, Citizens

Posted on April 21, 2022April 22, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER APRIL 20, 2022     Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: At approximately 5:29PM Slowjamastan Standard Time, Slowjamastani Intelligence alerted The Office of The Sultan of two illegal aliens who managed to penetrate border security.  

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News 12 Comments

NEWS ALERT: Sultan Names 100th Citizen

Posted on March 1, 2022March 1, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER FEBRUARY 18, 2022      Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: It’s official. The world’s newest country has just named their 100th citizen. Meet Julia Ervin, from Las Vegas, Nevada, United States of America!

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News 3 Comments

Hordes Flood Across Border to See Sultan

Posted on February 11, 2022February 11, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER FEBRUARY 6, 2022      Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: Under 10,000 Slowjamastani citizens, loyalists and supporters flooded through the nation’s newly constructed border gate on Sunday for an opportunity to see the

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News 5 Comments

Meet The Sultan – Sunday, February 6th

Posted on January 5, 2022January 30, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER JANUARY 4, 2022   Meet The Sultan – Sunday, February 6th   Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: The people cried out with joy today, after The Slowjamastan Ministry of Communications released the news that The

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News 30 Comments

“New Country, Who Dis?” Sultan Declares Independence

Posted on December 12, 2021January 30, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER DECEMBER 1, 2021        Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: At 12:26 Slowjamastan Standard Time, the Sultan took pen to paper and rocked the international community, signing a document that would declare

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“That’s One Big Ass Sign,” Say Residents as Ground Breaking Commences

Posted on November 13, 2021January 30, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER NOVEMBER 11, 2021      Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: Drills be drillin’, hammers be hammerin’ and saws be sawin’. That was the scene earlier today in The Republic of Slowjamastan as ground was

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News 10 Comments

Sultan Secures Land, Plans Secession

Posted on October 14, 2021November 13, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER OCTOBER 4, 2021   Imperial County, CA, USA: At around 2PM, Slowjamastan time today, it became official: The Sultan of Slowjamastan cementing a deal with the County of Imperial, California, USA, to procure a

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News 6 Comments

They See Me Rollin’: Slowjamastan Fleet Unveiled One Vehicle at a Time

Posted on October 4, 2021October 4, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER OCTOBER 3, 2021   They see me rollin’…they hatin’. That was the sound of the Sultan ridin’ through the streets of Slowjamastan this weekend in his new Mercedes Benz, the first official state vehicle.

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News 6 Comments

Sultan Unveils Nation’s Coat of Arms

Posted on September 9, 2021November 13, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER SEPTEMBER 10, 2021   Coat of arms or coat of charms??? That’s the question the world is asking after setting eyes on the newly-unveiled Slowjamastan coat of arms.  Wednesday afternoon, The Sultan released the

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Sultan Unveils National Anthem

Posted on August 26, 2021November 14, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER AUGUST 25, 2021   The internet nearly broke this morning at around 10:17AM (Slowjamastan time), when the Ministry of Music, Art and Culture released the country’s new (and first ever) National Anthem. The Sultan

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