Nogales Police Department Rolls Out Red Carpet (and Extra Parking Spaces) for Sultan of Slowjamastan BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 22nd, 2024 Nogales, AZ—In an event that could only be described as a cross-border
Category: News
Sultan’s Grand Caravan Rolls Through Arizona: Locals Brace for Royal Traffic Jam! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 22nd, 2024 Benson, Arizona: Banks shuttered, post offices padlocked, and productivity plummeted in Benson, Arizona, on Saturday, as
Sultan’s Grand Caravan Rolls Through Arizona: Locals Brace for Royal Traffic Jam! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 15th, 2024 Dublândia: In a spectacle sure to rock the international stage, Slowjamastan’s Minister of Foreign Affairs
Slowjamastan’s Sultan Faces the Wrath of Justice Over Royal Parking Blunder BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 31st, 2024 San Diego: In a scandal that’s shaking the foundations of international relations (or at least a
Yankee Spies Caught Peeking at Consulate: Sultan’s Enchiladas Caught in the Crossfire! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 30th, 2024 San Diego: We are notifying all Slowjamastani citizens and allies of some disturbing news.
How I Survived Afternoon Tea with a Sultan: A Tale of Tea, Turbans, and Timely Bowing READER CONTRIBUTION l BEN KATZMAN SLIGHTLY EDITED BY THE SLOWJAMASTAN MINISTRY OF PROPAGANDA May 26th, 2024 San Diego: I am
Nation’s Smelliest Sea Rebranded as Tribute to Supreme Leader: “Sultan” Sea to Replace Salton Sea in Grandiose Gesture BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 19th, 2024 Salton City, CA: This week, a measure was put
Sultan Achieves Board Game Fame BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 10th, 2024 El Centro, California, United States of America: Slowjamastanis collectively threw their hands up in joyous celebration upon discovering that their illustrious nation had
Sultan Urges Serenity as Outraged Citizens Demand Answers BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 9th, 2024 Dublândia: In a shocking turn of events in The Republic of Slowjamastan, a nation known for its strict fashion laws and
Land-locked micronation surrounded by California welcomes its first naval vessel BY CASEY MEAD l SLOWJAMASTAN SPINDERELLA AND HIGH PRIESTESS OF HOTDAMASTAN April 27th, 2024 This past weekend, citizens and visitors attending a celebratory event in
Breaking News: Parking Ticket Sparks Tension Between Slowjamastan and United States BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 9th, 2024 San Diego: In a shocking turn of events, the unbreakable bond between Slowjamastan and the United
Royal Intervention: Sultan Enlists San Diego DA in Battle Against Contraband Clown Shoes BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 6th, 2024 In a scene reminiscent of a B-movie diplomatic crisis, the Sultan rolled out the