NEWS

  Black Friday Sale EXTENDED Through Monday We’ve never, ever had a “sale.” But here’s the deal…our nation is teetering on the brink of financial collapse and we need capital. So YOU win! Take advantage of these never before offered

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER November 15, 2023   The bustling streets of Brawley, California, transformed into a theater of absurdity as hordes of enthusiastic Americans eagerly awaited the grand spectacle of The Sultan and his motorcade during

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER November 14th, 2023   Havana: In a plot twist even Hollywood couldn’t concoct, The Sultan recently graced Cuba with his royal presence, crashing a diplomatic dinner like it was a pizza party at

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER September 15, 2023   Last weekend, the “motherland” saw a monumental influx of SlowjamaFans from across the globe. The Sultan flung open his borders with all the grace of a bull in a

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER September 9, 2023   You’re cordially invited to Slowjamastan’s (No) Croctober ! Behold, a visual masterpiece awaits your perusal – The Sultan’s cinematic invitation, lovingly crafted for your viewing pleasure:     

  Sultan Shatters Guacamole Competition, Leaving Rivals Green with Envy BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER September 9, 2023   San Diego, CA, USA: In a truly groundbreaking culinary showdown, The Sultan, that legendary guacamole maestro, graced us with his

    Comiccon Capers, Law tango, and More Avocados Than you can Guac-omprehend!   BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER August 26, 2023     Los Angeles – In a whirlwind frenzy that lasted a whole 45 days (which is

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER August 21, 2023   Dublândia: In a twist that left experts baffled, Tropical Storm Hillary turned out to be the unexpected kick in the floaties that Slowjamastan’s new Lazy River project desperately needed.

  Against his better judgment, The Sultan has agreed to share his top secret “¡Glorious Guacamole!” recipe with you. It was this same gallant guac that took first place during this year’s Guac-Off at The San Diego Food Bank. The

BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER July 3, 2023   The following article applies to anyone who joined Slowjamastan as an Ambassador or member of Parliament. If you are interested in joining, we will post a link at the end

BY THE SULTAN  l  SUPREME LEADER June 11, 2023   Dublândia: As much fun as we are having creating and watching this whole “Slowjamastan” empire unfold and explode, please allow your Sultan to be serious for a moment… Since the