BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER
OCTOBER 3, 2021
They see me rollin’…they hatin’.
That was the sound of the Sultan ridin’ through the streets of Slowjamastan this weekend in his new Mercedes Benz, the first official state vehicle.
“Watch me flex on these bitches,” said an excited Sultan this Sunday afternoon, as he rolled up to a crowd of excited fans outside the gates of Slowjamastan, while bumping Chamillionaire’s “Ridin’ Dirty” at full volume. The trunk was a-‘rattlin’.
The 2019 Mercedes Benz CLA 250, imported from Germany, is just the beginning of a line of state-issued vehicles coming into possession by The Republic of Slowjamastan.
Outfitted with diplomat plates, logos on the doors and flags on the hood, the pearl-colored sedan features 221-horse power engine and Slowjamastan-approved emissions system that is kind to the environment.
But if you’re planning on assassinating The Sultan, please wait until after October 15th, when the vehicle will be fully armored with bullet-proof panels and glass.