BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER
OCTOBER 4, 2021

 

Imperial County, CA, USA: At around 2PM, Slowjamastan time today, it became official: The Sultan of Slowjamastan cementing a deal with the County of Imperial, California, USA, to procure a stretch of land located about 100 miles east of San Diego, California. At this moment the 11.07-acre plot officially belongs to The Sultan and will be the first official territory of The United Territories of the Sovereign Nation of The People’s Republic of Slowjamastan.

The Sultan said, “We are very thankful and appreciative of to the government of Imperial County and our allies in California and The United States and most of all are just joyous for the people of Slowjamastan that now have land of their own. We will begin building immediately. Fences, signs, watchtower, perhaps a hot dog stand and a bowling alley…we have big plans. And I have no further comments.”

Officials at The Consulate of The Republic of Slowjamastan in San Diego say that the Sultan and his cabinet are very excited to now have this land in their possession, and their next step will be to declare independence and officially secede from the United States. 

Stay tuned for more on this developing story.

7 thoughts on “Sultan Secures Land, Plans Secession

  1. DENNIS S. SERBA SR. says:

    Racoon name

    “SLOWMANLUKE”
    After the movie corrector played by Paul Newman…

    Dennis

    P.S. Luke needs his own web site.
    inviting Rac Cons.

  2. What about the Slowjamastan Navy? I see border police and crossing, but no mention of a Navy. We will need protection on ALL fronts in Slowjamastan! Our Army will be somewhat easy to raise, some volunteers, slingshots, and a few potato cannons should take care of that front.

  3. All shall bow to the Sultan! Long live his excellency! And The United Territories of the Sovereign Nation of The People’s Republic of Slowjamastan!

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