BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM l STAFF WRITER
DECEMBER 1, 2021
Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: At 12:26 Slowjamastan Standard Time, the Sultan took pen to paper and rocked the international community, signing a document that would declare independence for the 11-acre swath of desert paradise and give the Sultan, his land and the people complete autonomy.
The Sultan said, “All the women, who independent: Throw your hands up at me. All the honeys, who making money: Throw your hands up at me.”
No wait, that was Destiny’s Child, never mind.
Invited guests, members of the media and one lady who was lost in the desert watched with amazement as His Excellency looked news cameras in the eye and swore his allegiance to the new nation, while signing official documents to seal the deal.
“Where’d that desk come from?” asked a confused motorist passing by.
The Republic of Slowjamastan is officially an independent nation. Now what? We’re not sure.